Cassie DeNisco

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How I Let Self-Doubt Hold Me Back

I think for most of us, we’re our own worst enemies when it comes to self-doubt not feeling good enough for the things in our life. For myself, I know that I easily could let my stress and anxiety about change and new experiences control my life but I try my hardest to not let it. Letting things that scare you control your life isn’t a healthy way to live but a lot of us decide to not overcome the things that stress us out.

Self- doubt has been a huge factor in my life and honestly has controlled some of the decisions I have made. I often feel either not worthy enough for the things in my life or I let the fear of the unknown consume me. It often consumes me so much that I sometimes won’t do certain things or will not go all out in situations that I really would have liked to. I know for a fact if I started truly believing in myself whole-heartedly, I wouldn’t be as anxious of a person as I am.

For a little context, I used to think I was just an extremely indecisive person. Once I dove deeper and tried to get to the root of my problems, I realized that I just wait for “signs” on how to handle situations and and make decisions that may or may not come. And if they don’t come, I let fear take over and not do whatever it is I really want to do. It literally took me almost 22 years of my life to realize this but once I got to the root of my indecisiveness, I realized it was my own self-doubt that was holding me back.

This week alone I have had to make some major “big girl” decisions for myself and I almost talked myself out of them, even though they were things that I really wanted. Just take a moment to think about that, I almost let two amazing opportunities pass me by because I was scared. It was comforting to know that I had other people’s support no matter what I did but ultimately it had to be me making the decision as to whether or not I would pursue these things. Although I’m super nervous, I know that I just need to in a sense rip the bandaid off and get to it.

Having the courage to fight yourself in situations is definitely not easy but is so necessary if you’re like me and are constantly in your head. You can let your internal fears and doubts run your life. Just because something scares you and you’re nervous about it, doesn’t mean you can’t do it and succeed at it. Once you’re in a mindset where you are confident with yourself about your decisions and situations, you’ll realize the life filled with self-doubt that you lived before wasn’t healthy. Whether it has to do with body positivity or fear about how you life is going to turn out, you just have to let it go and start living your life for yourself.

I wish I could tell you an easy way to overcome whatever mental struggles and self-doubt you’re going through, but like I said, it truly took a long time to become at peace with myself. I realized that I can handle situations and I shouldn’t allow the things that make me anxious to live my life. It is truly so liberating when you are able to take your life back and start doing things that make you happy. The light at the end of your tunnel will come and you will make it through whatever scares you. I mean, at the end of the day, if it doesn’t scare you at least a little, is it even worth doing?

Don’t for get to listen to me new podcast Chit Chats with Cass on Apple and SoundCloud.. new episodes every Monday!

Kissing Toxic People Goodbye

In case you need a reminder, people should be in your life for only one reason and that is to add to your happiness. But, I think for so many of us we have those people in our lives who we love so much but they don’t add to your life, they only take away from it.

For so long, I was allowing people to be a part of my life because of the idea that I “couldn’t live without them”. Here’s a new flash: you don’t need to rely on anyone to live. Without getting into details or naming names, just know that I have seriously lived through so many friendships that I held on to because I believed that the person meant well and that whatever they were doing wasn’t on purpose, but boy was I wrong.

When you’re going through hard times in relationships with anyone, there’s always the person that longs for the nostalgia that is associated with that person and that always is me. I constantly long for how friendships used to be or how people used to make me feel. I would let that constant fear of letting someone go who was once a huge part of my life dictate how I would act and react in situations.

I’d like to think of myself as someone who’s pretty assertive and doesn’t take bullsh*t but like I seriously have a soft spot for people that I genuinely care about at love, which I think we all do. I swear that this constantly leaves me upset and heartbroken because I never can let go, no matter how awful a situation is. Toxic people come in all shapes, sizes, genders, and personalities so not every situation will feel the same but just know that if someone isn’t constantly there for you and helping you better yourself, then they probably aren’t the best people to surround yourself with. They’re the friends that ghost you for months or the boys that try to control you and not allow you to live your life. They’re also the family members that don’t accept who you are or try and manipulate situations.

A huge reason why I know I let toxic people stay in my life longer then they’re welcome is because I have a fear of being alone. Crazy, right? It’s something so stupid but it seriously made me allow so many people to be in my life and treat me horribly. It’s hard to realize that people are toxic when you’re actively being their friend but afterwards you can see all the red flags you should’ve seen beforehand. Toxic people have no place in my life anymore so it’s time you cut them out of yours as well.

I always tell my mom I want this quote on my headstone when I die: “No matter who the toxic person in your life is, you cannot justify how they treat you because you love them”. This is the serious message that I want all of you to take away from this blog post. You deserve better and you are enough. I know it’s seriously so hard to believe that, especially when you are all alone but just know I believe that for you and I am routing for you. I’ve been through this myself and it all gets better. You have to believe me when I say let’s just get rid of the toxic people in our lives so that we can start living our best life in 2019.

4 Ways to Get Your Shit Together

We all get to a point where it feels like everything is falling apart. Whether it be a bad grade, rough day at work, or just an all around hard week, it’s so important to get yourself out of that negative head space and into a positive place to get yourself together. People always tell me that they wish that they were as together as I am but I’m here to tell you that I often find myself reevaluating where I’m at. Here are my top 4 favorite ways to get my shit together:

  1. Address the Negativity but Don’t Dwell on It!

I know that for me, I tend to focus on the negativity in my life and make it control my actions. If I’m having a rough day, I let it consume me and that is just not healthy. It’s important to address whatever is upsetting you but you can’t let it just control you. It’s not a good habit to have and it will only lead you into a bad place of negativity. I think an important lesson for everyone is to just go with the flow, we can’t control every aspect of our lives so don’t get upset about something going wrong.

2. Do Something that Makes You Happy

Whether you’re a guy or a girl, just doing things that make you happy falls under this pampering umbrella. Go get your nails done or go out and buy yourself your favorite snack. Pampering yourself doesn’t even have to be related to rewards, maybe just spend sometime with some friends or a loved one. In times of stress, treating yourself with kindness and not more blame for situations is the best remedy.

3. Make a Plan

This is probably my biggest tip, if you’ve had a rough and stressful week plan to make sure your next week runs smoothly. Of course things come up but as long as you have some sort of direction for the week ahead, it’s sure to be a good one. I always feel better knowing that I have at least a list of things that I am doing or want to do so that I don’t just head into a new week having no idea what’s going on or what I’m supposed to be doing.

4. Stay Motivated

This is probably the hardest to follow. I know that when things go wrong all I want to do is go curl up in my bed and forget about the world. DON’T DO IT! You have to use this trying time in your life as a way to motivate you into being better. The only way you can grow as a person is to take what life gives you and turn it into a positive. Just keep going and know that negativity is a trick your mind plays on you, even if something sucks you have the power to make it better.

Sometimes I feel like I give great advice but actually never follow it myself. I hope that this post inspires you to get your shit together and know that you’re totally not alone if the people around you always look like they have it together.

Subscribe down below and let me know if you do anything different when you feel the need to get your life in check!