Cassie DeNisco

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Boy, Bye

I’ve definitely had my fair share of relationships in my lifetime and I’ve seen enough to know that a huge problem in relationships is not knowing when to call it quits. For a lot of people, they realize that the relationship isn’t doing what it is supposed to anymore but continue to hold on to it. Other people let relationships run their lives and stop them from pursuing the things important to them.

Whether it’s the fear of being alone or fear of not having that person in your life anymore, you need to realize that relationships should be happy and then need to contribute positively to your life. My post Babe, Stop Apologizing, touched on the idea that you shouldn’t leave toxic people in your life just because you love them and that absolutely can be applied here. When the relationship isn’t what it used to be and you’ve tried everything in your power to make it work, you need to just walk away. You might be thinking, well that’s easier said then done but believe me there is so much more to this world then your crumby relationship.

I watched a lot of my in both high school and college just long for a boyfriend. They seriously would do anything to just have someone to call their own. I mean if you’re starting out a relationship with your history of being desperate for a boyfriend, it can’t end well and yet my friends somehow made it last. Basing your relationship off the idea that you don’t want to be lonely isn’t the healthiest start to one. A huge question that you need to ask yourself before getting a boyfriend or girlfriend is why am I doing this? Is it because I’m lonely or am I secure enough in my own skin that I can add to someone else’s life? You need to have yourself established before you can give anything to anyone else. You need to have your self-love and confidence in your own skin so that you’re the best version of yourself for someone else. You can’t pour into someone else’s cup if your own cup isn’t that full.

In the world we live in today, relationships look so different than they did in the past. If you look at statistics, people are waiting to get into relationships or not getting into them at all. Reasons vary but the general trend is anti relationships, and personally I’m all for it. Girls today have so much more freedom in what they can say and do, and to be honest most relationships hold girls back. In thinking about my own experiences, there were countless times that I didn’t pursue something because of the relationship I was in at the time. I look back now and ask myself “Was it worth it?” and considering I don’t even talk to that person anymore, it wasn’t.

Why do girls have to lose their identities when they’re in relationships. I wonder that a lot and think that the answer lies in the insecurities of the person they’re with. Most guys can’t handle girls that know what they want and where they’re going in life, especially if they have no clue where they’re going themselves. Girls shouldn’t worry about what their significant other is going to think. Relationships definitely should not run your life to the point that you lose all ambition for the dreams you had. This ties into my earlier point that you can’t get into a relationship that’s going to be happy and healthy until you are secure with who you are.

Now, I’m totally not advocating going out and breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend if you’re the slightest bit unhappy but if any of these scenarios I’ve mentioned fit you, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate somethings. You need to consider why you got into the relationship and how the relationship makes you continue to feel. Relationships are there to make you happy and to add to your life, they aren’t there to stop you from doing what you want to do in life or make you miserable.

Something else I want to touch on is that it is totally okay for you to communicate how you feel to your partner. I feel like a lot of people are afraid to make the first move in conversations because they’re worried it might come off the wrong way. You have to get comfortable enough with the person you’re with so that these types of conversations are easy and painless. It’s good to step back and reevaluate where you are in relationships from time to time so that you make sure you’re on the same page.

It took me a long time to get as comfortable and confident as I am now to even be talking about knowing when to leave a relationship or what not to do to get into one. I for so long hated being alone but now realize I’m better off alone then miserable with someone else. In my life right now I am so content with where I am in my relationship and I know that we both work to better each other and our relationship. If you’re not in a partnership with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you’re not in a good relationship and that when it’s time to say Boy, Bye.

Why You Aren’t Getting What You Want

My self-help post from last Friday did so well that I thought I would bring to you another post all about getting it together. For many of you, you’re in college and you’re just going with the flow but that needs to change. The only way to start making your dreams become reality is to stop just letting things happen and start paving your own path.

For me, I do that by manifesting. Manifesting to me is focusing on a goal that I want to achieve and basically willing it into existence. Manifesting seems like this complicated concept but in reality it’s just making yourself and your goals a priority. Once I stopped focusing so heavily on school and work, I realized how happy so many other things can make me. Its important to prioritize work and education but those things can be placed above your happiness and mental health.

We all live in a world today that is all about making money and getting to that next step in life. While making money is essential for survival, it’s time that we start doing things for ourselves. Life is not fun if all you’re doing is working, regardless if you love your job or not. As humans, were designed to love things and to become passionate about things so why are we all so over hobbies and passion projects and side hustles as we grow up? Think about it, as kids all we do is dream about our life, all the careers we want to have, and all the things we love. As we age, people just get to comfortable with where they’re at in life and lose that childhood ambition that drives you.

That’s why you aren’t getting what you want and why you’re not living your life for you. I challenge you this summer to take up a hobby or just start doing something that you love. Don’t let your mind tell you that you need to focus too much on money or that you don’t have enough time for something. There are 24 hours in the day and most people only work for 8 of them. If you need to sleep for the other 8 then theres still 8 hours for you to do something for yourself. Take my advice, or don’t, but the happiest people in the world are the people who pave their own paths and live their lives on their own terms.

4 Ways to Get Your Shit Together

We all get to a point where it feels like everything is falling apart. Whether it be a bad grade, rough day at work, or just an all around hard week, it’s so important to get yourself out of that negative head space and into a positive place to get yourself together. People always tell me that they wish that they were as together as I am but I’m here to tell you that I often find myself reevaluating where I’m at. Here are my top 4 favorite ways to get my shit together:

  1. Address the Negativity but Don’t Dwell on It!

I know that for me, I tend to focus on the negativity in my life and make it control my actions. If I’m having a rough day, I let it consume me and that is just not healthy. It’s important to address whatever is upsetting you but you can’t let it just control you. It’s not a good habit to have and it will only lead you into a bad place of negativity. I think an important lesson for everyone is to just go with the flow, we can’t control every aspect of our lives so don’t get upset about something going wrong.

2. Do Something that Makes You Happy

Whether you’re a guy or a girl, just doing things that make you happy falls under this pampering umbrella. Go get your nails done or go out and buy yourself your favorite snack. Pampering yourself doesn’t even have to be related to rewards, maybe just spend sometime with some friends or a loved one. In times of stress, treating yourself with kindness and not more blame for situations is the best remedy.

3. Make a Plan

This is probably my biggest tip, if you’ve had a rough and stressful week plan to make sure your next week runs smoothly. Of course things come up but as long as you have some sort of direction for the week ahead, it’s sure to be a good one. I always feel better knowing that I have at least a list of things that I am doing or want to do so that I don’t just head into a new week having no idea what’s going on or what I’m supposed to be doing.

4. Stay Motivated

This is probably the hardest to follow. I know that when things go wrong all I want to do is go curl up in my bed and forget about the world. DON’T DO IT! You have to use this trying time in your life as a way to motivate you into being better. The only way you can grow as a person is to take what life gives you and turn it into a positive. Just keep going and know that negativity is a trick your mind plays on you, even if something sucks you have the power to make it better.

Sometimes I feel like I give great advice but actually never follow it myself. I hope that this post inspires you to get your shit together and know that you’re totally not alone if the people around you always look like they have it together.

Subscribe down below and let me know if you do anything different when you feel the need to get your life in check!

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